ellas 100wc week 18
January 26, 2012
One day a little girl went out to buy a silver dress for her birthday. When she was there she could only find a tiny dress with a picture of Paris on it. It would not fit her but it would fit her dolly. So she bought it and jumped up and down. Her dolly would love it so much! She finally found a dress that fit her. It was not silver but she loved it. The day after that it was her birthday. She won lots of different games. The game she was the best at was postman’s knock.
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17 Comments
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well done Ella.great spellings.
well done ella.great writing.
Hi Ella, well done for using the five words so creatively. How exciting to be able to find the perfect dress… for your doll! Some more descriptive words about the dress and how the little girl felt as she found the dress and when the next day arrived and it was her birthday would have made your story even more interesting to read.
Wel done Ella for writing this for the 100wc. You had an original idea to buy a dress for your doll. Next time don’t forget to describe things so your readers can have a picture in their mind.
I really liked your 100wc. What is postmans knock? Well done
it is a realy good game that people play on their birthdays.
Well done Ella!
Great work Ella cant wait to hear more please tell me more
thankyou jasmine
that was amazing Ella you done great
Who wrote this.
Hi Ella. It sounds as if the girl had a really fun time on her birthday. Could you add some extra description into your story? For example what colour dress did she by for herself? Was it short or long? Did it feel soft or slippery?
Thank you for sharing your story on the100WC.
It sounds like she had a good birthday. How could you start the story better than using ‘one day’?
Well done Ella. Great work again!
I could start it off like this a few days ago.
Great 100WC Ella! Please write the rest of this story and bring it into school.
Will do Jenny!!!
thats me by the way